Boat Blind Plans | Cursing those big wakes

Boat Blind Plans

LIKE MOST PEOPLE who have gotten used to traveling slowly in sailboats, I have often been angered by the irresponsibility of powerboaters who drag large, dangerous wakes behind them.

Let me say straight away that this is not a rant against powerboaters per se. There are considerate powerboaters and inconsiderate ones, and while I’m quite sure the former vastly outnumber the latter, the memories of the latter are what stick in my mind.

I’ll never forget something Robert Hale, of Seattle, once wrote. He was the former respected publisher of the annual Waggoner Cruising Guide for the waters of the Pacific Northwest of the USA. In the 2003 edition he wrote:

“Shortly after going from sail to power, I came to understand what I call the First Rule of Powerboating: Never Look Back.

“Because, if we powerboat skippers would look back, we would be appalled at what we do to other boats.”

Coming from a powerboater, that was a very honest and refreshing statement. It actually inspired me to invent a curse for sailors to use when faced with enormous wakes that inconvenience other boats and even threaten to capsize or swamp smaller vessels.

It’s a curse that might help you to vent your fury harmlessly in circumstances where you might otherwise be tempted to reach for your rifle and let Nature take its course. This, in fact, is one of four examples in a chapter devoted to curses in my book How to Rename your Boat — and 19 Other Useful Ceremonies, Superstitions, Prayers, Rituals, and Curses.

This is what I wish for the powerboat wash-hogs, or PAFIs as I call them.*

A CURSE FOR LEAVING A LARGE WAKE

Woe to you, thou beslubbering speedhog!

May your filters choke and your injectors freeze.

May every ill befalling a boat bring you to your knees.

May you run out of whisky, and ice cubes, too.

May there be no more pleasure for you or your crew.

May all your bronze tarnish and your varnish all flake.

May your batteries die and your propellers shake.

May your anchors drag and your bilges overflow.

May you rot in a hell where they make you go slow.

Curse you! Curse you! My curse be upon you wherever you go!

*Power Assisted F...ing Idiots 

Today’s Thought

I sent down to the rum mill on the corner and hired an artist by the week to sit up nights and curse that stranger.

— Mark Twain, A Mysterious Visit

Tailpiece

It’s too bad that by the time we get old enough not to care what anybody says about us, nobody’s saying anything about us.

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Boat Building Plans And Kits | A Front Deck and Photos of an Adorable Puppy

Boat Building Plans And Kits

First off, now that the boat is upright, I made Hazel a ramp so she can go in and out of the boat while Im working.

Next, I put the front deck on.  There are probably things I need to do under there that would be easier without the deck, but my excitement trumps good planning. I know I still need to bolt in the motor well/mount, so the back deck stays off for now.

If you are following this blog, youve read through the stressful process of using epoxy resin to adhere the boat members together, so Ill skip the narrative blow by blow. Just remember, dealing with epoxy is like defusing a ticking time bomb.

So having our first deck on the boat allows Hazel and I to enjoy a much deserved sunny lay-about.

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Kayak Boat Plans | Small voyage big accomplishment

Kayak Boat Plans

I WAS ONCE introduced to a man who sailed a Wayfarer 16-foot dinghy among the islands of the Salish Sea, here in the Pacific Northwest. He was very modest when he learned I’d crossed oceans. “I only take little voyages, and never out of sight of land,” he said.

I assured him that small, gentle voyages can generate as much joy and satisfaction as long adventurous ones.

The man or woman who gingerly sails a dinghy along a friendly shore is no less worthy of our respect than the sailor who braves the open ocean. 

We all have our own areas of anxiety and doubt in our own abilities, and when we conquer our fears it is just as much a triumph to cross the bay as it is for someone of sterner nature to cross an ocean.

And yet, human nature being what it is, we tend to judge other sailors by the size of their boats and how far they’ve traveled: their most distant ports, and the length of their voyages.

Now it is true that sailors who cross oceans in small boats perform impressive feats of seamanship because they sail the same seas as big commercial ships that have large crews specializing in the various skills needed to move people and cargoes across oceans. Sailboat sailors are their own cooks and navigators. They are their own engineers and riggers. They handle the sails and anchors and electrical circuits. And they face exactly the same hazards as large ships, including the storms, the rocks, and even pirates.

Yet, at the same time, to take a small boat across a body of water of any size is no small feat. To each his own goals and ambitions. We all set our own limits, and who can gainsay our individual achievements? What we all seek deep down is a feeling of ability, of achievement, of confidence. And sailing a small boat on a small voyage often does generate the confidence we need to deal with the greater troubles the world constantly throws at us.

Seamanship is as much a set of the mind as anything else. And small, simple boats can afford pleasure and gratification out of all proportion to their cost. We are the only ones fit to judge our seamanship. We challenge ourselves, we feel fear, and sometimes we get more fear than we bargained for, but we learn and we gain confidence, and are not as frightened quite as much the next time. And there always is a next time for those who challenge themselves.

Today’s Thought

Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage.

— R. L. Stevenson

Tailpiece

The greatest area of unemployment in the world today is the region just north of the ear.

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Boat Plans Butler | Use common sense in fog

Boat Plans Butler

IT’S NOVEMBER. The last of the spiders are drifting off on their silken threads, the air is cooling rapidly, and fog is creeping into the coves and straits overnight. Fog is dangerous for boaters who lack radar, as most of us do. Fog is especially frightening when you are caught out on a passage. What advice do I have?

Well, frankly, there isn’t much advice to give about getting caught in fog that isn’t covered by common sense. I mean, if you see a fog bank forming ahead, and you have a chance to turn back to a safe anchorage, do so. It’s the seamanlike action to take. Otherwise, you’re stuck with it.

Fog is treacherous. Go slowly and listen very carefully. If fog catches you out, try to get into shallow water and anchor there. Oftentimes that’s easier said than done, of course.

You should raise a radar reflector as high as you can, so other vessels with radar sets will see you. And you should be meticulous about making the right sound signal every two minutes or less. I have noticed that too many skippers are very lax about this. I have even traveled on a Washington State ferry that made no sound signals in thick fog, presumably relying on radar and AIS and clearance from Seattle Traffic Control, which can’t possibly tell the ferry if a small craft, invisible to radar, is in its path. There’s no warning for a small craft in the path of the ferry, either.

If you’re sailing, the correct signal is one long blast and two short blasts. That’s also the signal by a vessel not under command, or restricted by her ability to maneuver. The same signal comes from a vessel engaged in fishing, or towing or pushing another vessel.

If you’re under power, the fog signal (and the signal in any kind of restricted visibility, by the way) is one long blast every two minutes or less.

And one last tip — take along a horn that you can blow into. The fog horns that work off cans of compressed air don’t always work. I can vouch for that. I can also tell you that blowing the damn horn as loud as you can every two minutes is a pain in the you-know-what. You can’t go anywhere or do anything that lasts more than one minute, fifty-nine seconds. It puffs your cheeks out and raises your blood pressure. It makes you dizzy and produces black spots before your eyes. But it’s better than being run down at sea. So do it.

Today’s Thought

He that bringeth himself into needless dangers dieth the devil’s martyr.

— Thomas Fuller, Holy War

Tailpiece

“I’ve found out why production has slowed down since you got that second computer.”

“Good. What’s wrong?”

“The big computer’s shoving all the work on to the little computer.”

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Minecraft big boat design

Minecraft big boat design Houses On Minecraft Xbox 360 Minecraft Fan Art Minecraft Pixel Art Templates Minecraft Papercraft Minecraft Papercraft House

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Canoe Boat Plans | Do cruising men ever wash

Canoe Boat Plans

A READER IN OHIO is having wife trouble. “Old Salt” says his wife complains that cruising on their sailboat is hazardous to their health because Old Salt never washes, and he wears the same clothes day in and day out. “But I remember that you once wrote a column about sailing hygiene,” says Old Salt. “Would it be a good idea to repeat it, for my wife’s benefit?”

Oh my goodness yes, Old Salt. It would be a wonderful idea. It saves me having to think of a new idea.

So here it is, five years old now, but still pretty much up-to-date, I believe:

Cruising hygiene

DO MEN CHANGE THEIR UNDERPANTS while cruising? A young woman reader in Dade County, Florida, wants to know. Geraldine says her new boyfriend has invited her on a six-week cruise to the Bahamas on his Cape Dory 25D sailboat. She has not sailed before, but she is fine with everything — except what she suspects might be a hygiene problem.

Do men on small boats change their socks? she asks.

Do they EVER wash ANY clothes?

Do they wash their hands after going to the head?

Do men brush their teeth morning and night?

Do they ever change the bed sheets?

Do they even HAVE bed sheets?

Well, Geraldine, you have poked your little stick into a big hornets’ nest here. Obviously I can’t answer for all cruising men, and as far as I know nobody has conducted research into this subject. But if it’s any comfort, as far as I know, not many cruising men die from bubonic plague or big bad germs in the gut.

I can only tell you of my own experience of long-term cruising and the answer to your first question is yes, men do change their underpants every day, one pair a day for seven days. Then, on the eighth day they start over. The theory is that the underpants have aired for a whole week, which is plenty of time for any germs to jump off and go somewhere else.   

Socks? Mostly we don’t wear socks, but even if we do, we only have two pairs. They’re good for seven days before rotation. We don’t walk anywhere, you see, so there’s no sweat or anything objectionable. You’ll notice that no men ever complain about other men’s socks.

Washing clothes? Well that depends on the availability of fresh water (very rare) and a place to do the washing (also rare). It depends on the weather and the amount of rail space available for drying. It depends when you can find the time, when you have a whole lot of other things to do (such as steering around rocks and anchoring and reefing and navigation) that are a lot more important than washing clothes. So, in short, the answer is ... well I have known one or two men who have washed some cruising clothes, so it’s not completely unknown.

As for washing hands after using the head, I have to assure you that it’s a distinct possibility in a boat like yours that has a wash basin in the head. Of course, most men won’t use it for fear of running out of fresh water, but at least there is a definite possibility; and that surely must cut down on the odds of disease erupting.

Do men brush their teeth morning and night? Geraldine, I think it is a scientifically accepted fact that as long as you break up the plaque every 24 hours, one brushing a day is sufficient. And, by happy discovery, a large body of cruising men has found that swilling the mouth with gin just before bed is equally as efficient in the prevention of tooth decay as is brushing with toothpaste.

As for bed sheets, well that depends on the sissy factor. Real men don’t use bed sheets. They use rough, hairy, woolen blankets or sleeping bags designed for Mt. Everest. I confess that I have a sort of sheet for my sleeping bag, a removable cotton liner, but after you’ve slept in it for two months straight I’ve noticed that it seems to grow little lumps inside like a real woolen blanket, so it’s really quite macho and not as pooftah as you might think.

Geraldine, you can spend too much time worrying about hygiene. There are places in Europe where they only take a bath once a week. There are places in the Sahara where they never bathe. It’s true that their average lifespan is 23 years, but nobody has ever actually proved it’s because of lack of bathing.

On the whole, you will find that the cruising life is very healthy. Strong sunshine and salt water are very good at killing germs. And those few germs that don’t die immediately will surely succumb when they eventually drift down and get swallowed up by that seething, squirming mass of micro-wildlife in your bilge.

Go for it, Geraldine. Go for the beautiful beaches and the glorious crystal-clear water; go for the romantic tropical nights and the soft trade winds brushing the coconut palms in silver moonshine. And let hygiene take its chance, as Nature intended.

Today’s Thought

A man’s own observation, what he finds good of and what he finds hurt of, is the best physic to preserve health.

— Bacon, Essays: Of Regimen of Health

Tailpiece

A yacht club barman I know has invented a drink called the Block and Tackle. It’s one third whiskey, one third brandy, and one third vodka. After two of those you’re ready to run around the block and tackle anything.

(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, for a new Mainly about Boats column.)

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Boat Plans Bolger | Epoxy warfare on my deck

Boat Plans Bolger

AFTER PAINTING TWO BOATS with twin-pack polyurethane paint, I thought I knew all about polyester urethanes. I was wrong.

After I had finished the second boat, the surveyor came along. Tap, tap, tap, he went, all over the hull and decks of my sweet little 22-foot Santana.

He approached me with a long face. “Bad news,” he said, “your deck is delaminating.”

“What?” I cried. “Impossible. I’ve just been all over it. Sanded it. Painted it. There was nothing wrong with it.”

“Come and listen,” he said. He tapped the deck and it made that sickening dull thud, instead of a nice bright ring.

“Omigod,” I said.

There was no doubt about it. Something was badly amiss. We pondered it together, and eventually I decided there was nothing to lose.

I took a sharp knife and cut into the deck. I pulled back a strip. It was all paint. The deck underneath was as solid as ever.

“The paint hasn’t stuck,” the surveyor said. “How did you do this?”

I told him I’d sanded down the old deck paint. I applied a coat of Interlux epoxy primer. Then, having run out of that particular paint on the weekend, I grabbed some more epoxy primer from my nearest Ace Hardware store, and applied that. Before it cured, I sprinkled sand over it, 30-grit sand from a local builder’s yard. When the epoxy dried, I brushed off the excess sand lying on top with a soft brush.

Then I painted on two coats of Interlux twin-pack polyurethane. The result was magnificent. Better than new. Much better. Until the surveyor came along.

We poked around the deck some more and found that we could peel the new deck off by hand. Large chunks of  it came away as we togged. The epoxy and polyurethane and sand had formed a thick pliable skin — but it was not attached to the old deck. Underneath this skin, and on top of the old deck, was a sweet-smelling layer of some kind of liquid chemical.

“Aha,” said the surveyor, who was a smart man. “Incompatible epoxies.” He explained that the Interlux epoxy and the Ace Hardware epoxy had not liked each other. They had not got on well together at all. One of the other had revolted and formed this liquid layer that had prevented the top layers from sticking to the deck.

So I pulled off the new layer of deck paint like you’d peel the skin off a banana, scrubbed the whole deck down with acetone, and started again, this time with two epoxy coats from Interlux. And this time it worked. But it was a hard way to learn that different epoxies hate each other so much. I always thought epoxy was epoxy. Anyway, for someone who thought he knew all about twin-pack polyurethane, it was a humbling lesson.

Today’s Thought

Good painting is like good cooking: it can be tasted, but not explained.

— Vlaminck, On Painting

Tailpiece

“Johnny, who was the roundest knight at the Round Table of King Arthur?”

“Sir Cumference, sir.”

“Very good. And how did he achieve his great size?”

“From too much pi, sir.”

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Pontoon Boat Plans Aluminum | A Big Flippin Deal

Pontoon Boat Plans Aluminum

For months Ive been wanting to flip the boat hull so I can start working on the topside. This is no easy feat as the thing is 8 foot wide by 20 foot long. It will take at least 12 people to flip it safely and lift it onto the trailer. I originally planned it for late last year but the scheduling didnt really work for people, and honestly there was a lot of stuff, particularly with the trailer, that could be done before the boat was flipped.

So here we are in early spring, and its time to flip the boat.  I sent out an invite to a few friends who I love working with or who had been dying to come see/work on the boat.

"There will be good beer (and rootbeer) and BBQ sausages and veggie burgers. It will be fun and harrowing and crazy. We will all feel like Superpeople at the end of it. Id like to find the weekend day that you can make it. If it doesnt sound like something you are into or are too busy, feel free to pass with no guilt."

I found a weekend that most everyone could make. I made arrangements with the nearby fire station for parking so we wouldnt be overrun by cars on Lawrences farm. Jen offered to run a shuttle back and forth.

This is the Final Details email that went out to the dozen friends who were planning to come:

"The Plan: We will be flipping the boat shortly after noon.  So maybe we will have a quick snack, a beer to calm our nerves, and discuss The Plan.  We will stand the boat on its side, then lower it down on its hull, then after we catch our breath, lift and carry the boat to the boat trailer. By the way, Ive seen video of a dozen people flipping the hull of this boat, so Im reasonably confident that this is possible."

It was important to me that this be a social and rewarding experience. The farm where the boat is being built is one of the most beautiful places in the world to hang out on a sunny day and I wanted to share that with my friends in style.

"BBQ and celebration: After the boat is flipped and safely on the trailer, we can celebrate with a BBQ!  Ill make sure there are sausages and veggie burgers and some beer at the BBQ. If you want, you are welcome to bring other BBQ/picnic style items.  Suggestions: hot dogs, chips, your grandmas potato salad, fancy homebrew, fruit salad, pie/cobbler, corn-on-the-cob, coleslaw, and sauerkraut."

Id checked in with the land owner and indeed they had some (gentle) reservations. I prudently added this to the communication with the Boat Flippers:

"Fine Print: The land owner may have concerns that someone will be crushed on his property (though I think it is unlikely), so I might ask you to sign something to release my generous boat-landlord from liability. Hope that works for you. I really want to work hard to respect any concerns that Lawrence and his family might have."

The day was bright and sunny, a perfect spring day. Jen shuttled people from the parking site. People arrived promptly, signed a release, and had a snack and a beer.


We took a while going over The Plan.  We talked about safety and how we wanted to protect our precious soft little bodies. We even demonstrated with our hands as a visual aid, precisely where everyone would stand as we flipped the boat.

At the end of our discussion about The Plan, just before we sprung into action, I asked the most important question:

"If any of you are thinking something right now, that later, after everything goes horribly wrong, you might say Yeah, I was wondering about that, or I thought that might be a problem, I urge you to share it with us now."

There were no strong concerns or reservations and so we sprung.

We fiddled with the trailer to make lifting the boat onto it easier and safer. We brought the tongue down and put a tire over the hitch mechanism to protect the hull.

We got into places with some butterflies in our tummy.

We went over The Plan one more time.

Jen had an important role.  She was responsible for making sure the hull landed on the tires that we had laid out to receive the boat.

Okay, wait, one more time. Just making sure we got The Plan.

With a count of ONE-TWO-THREE-LIFT! we lifted the hull to a vertical position.

At the ends, we needed people responsible for keeping the hull upright while everyone else transitioned to the other side.

 Alex and Myriam were at one end.  Kai and Frank were on the other.

Meanwhile, everyone else went around to the other side and prepared to lower the boat. James, Mikey, Charlie, Jason, Jeremiah, Baerie, and I.

Another countdown and we were slowly slowly lowering this crazy heavy object from a vertical position (which somehow seemed gnarlier than lifting it).

There was some concern that the bottom would kick out as we lowered it, but it didnt.

High-fives all around.

Now we took a deep breath and prepared ourselves for lifting the boat onto the trailer.

 How heavy will it be? Who knows?

Will we even be able to lift it? Hopefully, but we dont really know.

Someone suggested a test lift. Good idea! Lets see how heavy it is by just lifting it a little bit. We will lift it and then put it right back down.  Okay, ready, lift!

And up it goes! Its not a million pounds! This is do-able! Someone suggested (probably me), Fuck it, lets just do it. So we do it.

We lift and carry it to the trailer.

And on the trailer it goes.

Later, several people tell me that there werent really enough people at the front. So they werent up there thinking, "Oh, how light! How nimble!"  They were up there thinking, "Arrrggghhh! What happened to the Test Lift?"

Again, I am reminded -- as if I should need another reminder -- about the importance of sticking with The Plan.

A round of celebratory Boat Boarding! Kids, dogs, everyone!  Hadasa, Nitzi, and Ziva were the little ones who joined us on Boat Flip day.

And now its time for barbecue!

Kai and Hazel warmed up the BBQ.

After a few beers, it seems imperative that the boat building form must be removed from the boat right now.

More high-fives!

And we hang around for another several hours stuffing ourselves with sausages, cobbler, Baeries homemade cider, and beer.

Thanks to awesome friends who made this not only possible, but tremendously fun, my favorite boat work day so far. And thanks to Madrone who was official photographer for the day.


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